How to succeed in becomming a white van man
What are the main criteria to being recognised as a ‘white van man’? Obviously you have to own a white van for starters, but even this may exclude you from joining this club. I will list some of my own experiences, which would guarantee entry into the club for anyone.
Complete disregard for other road users
Now, this is vitally important if you wish to become a member of this club. It can’t be a small bending of the rules here or there, or minor irregularities with the highway code. It has to be total anarchy! If you are driving down a narrow county road, for example, you cannot safely negociate passage past another vehicle. It is necessary to try to force the oncoming vehicle to stop and let you through, or totally run them off the road. if you can adhieve this without caring at all, then you are a larger step closer to your goal.
Dominate your steet with your vehicle
The councils in most towns and cities have awoken to the idea that there is lots of money to be made by parking enforcement. So space in the street outside your house is now at a premium, and even with a permit does not guarantee you a slot near to your house. So where does our ‘white van man’ slot into all of this? Our bloke probably owns more than one or two vehicles and parks the van outside his house too, consuming more space than anyone else in the street. If you can do this and not care about the neighbours, then you will definitely earn your stripes!
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